Happiness

While watching the mixture of colors that painted the sky, I reminded of the passage of a book I had read some time ago. I didn’t exactly remember the words the author had used, but he described the magic of being happy and being able to see it.
It almost never happens, if you think about it.
Unhappiness or bad time are more and more outrageous than a good time.
In those moments I realized that I could never forget that period.

That was one of those days when you prayed that they might last for eternity.
It was still a matter of minutes before people finished their working day and clogged the streets.
It seemed that the little nature still present in the city was enjoying its last breath, before witnessing the usual race of human beings.
It was still winter according to the calendar, but the heat of the sun’s rays gave the feeling that spring wanted to start its course earlier.
Everything seemed to be dressed in the indescribable color of the sky, a pinkish-orange that left you breathless.
There was no doubt that it would have been a very good sunset.

I went out for a walk after a warm and endless regenerating shower. I used to feel the chills of cold when I went out at that time, especially after washing. But that day was divine. The light spring jacket proved to be the right choice. I walked without a real destination, letting myself be hit by the sun’s rays and trying to enjoy the sounds of what was around me. The cries of the children at the playground, the brakes of the cars at the red light, the chirping of the birds and the gentle breeze that caressed my hair.

I decided that the best thing to do was to find a place that would allow me to have a view from the top of the city. I wanted to be in the highest possible place to enjoy the goodbye of the sun and the arrival of darkness.
I was really happy at that time and the funny thing is that there was no specific reason. For years, as I think everyone, I had mistakenly connected happiness to a goal, to a person or always to something.
That was definitely the happiest period of my life, even though I was far from all that was most dear to me. Yet I didn’t care about anything or anyone anymore and for the first time I liked the person I was looking at in the mirror.

It was inexplicable happiness that no one could have understood. I didn’t waste time trying to share it. I remembered Oscar Wilde’s words, he wrote that when he liked someone he didn’t reveal her/his name out because of jealousy.
I did the same with that part of my life, I didn’t show it to anyone and tried to enjoy it to the last drop.

I remember one detail of those moments, I always looked up.
I stared at the sky and tried to touch the stars.
I was happy and everything seemed to be possible.

Gezim Qadraku.

 

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